I don’t think anyone can be prepared to say goodbye to their children.
Life before social media and before the internet as we know it in 2023, was completely different. There was a time when we were not “plugged in” and that means being less aware of child loss and the impact our personal stories can have on others that are on this journey.
I feel like I have spoken little about my story on child loss and out of being a private person. But that all changed in 2022 and here’s why.
My first experience with child loss was in 1993, as a 17-year-old and mom of a one-year-old daughter. Yes, I was a teen mom and of course, in those days, teen moms were shamed by almost everyone that came into their lives. I can say that my age didn’t match my personality or mentality, I was more like an old soul, I rarely thought or saw the world through the eyes of a teenager…I grew up faster than my peers. While my teen peers were excited about proms, dances, and shopping; I was more focused on adult things like having a family, wanting to start a business, and “just graduating already”!
It wasn’t until 2022 when my husband and two of my daughters moved to Hilton Head Island, SC for a few months, and during that time I could “clear my mind” and focus on where the Lord wanted me to be or go, or stay, basically what direction He wanted me to go in for this season of my life. I completely unplugged from my sewing services and spent most of my waking hours getting closer to the Lord in my personal life. The business side of my sewing services was spent talking to others via my YouTube channel and helping them get their footing in their own memorial sewing business.
That was also the year where I opened my heart back to some very painful things in my life that I have been trying (some on purpose and some surprisingly) to hide, you know, to just “move on” from without properly dealing with them. With the Lord’s grace and soft nudging, I willingly and tearfully began to open up. It was equally painful and comforting.
So, here I am today sharing my personal child loss experiences in case you or someone you love is experiencing your own child loss journey.
Did you know there is healing that comes when you name your child even when you never get to meet him or her? I didn’t believe it at first; you know the internet wasn’t like it is now! In 1993 I was ALONE when I had my miscarriage. I mean I had my parents, siblings, and fiancee, but no other person to talk to that knew what I was going through so I felt alone and that caused me to just keep my mouth shut. You know, just not talk about it and move on. It was YEARS later that I realized that was a HUGE MISTAKE!
Tarry means “to wait”, and that is just what I am doing because one day I will meet this child in heaven. (Here is my assurance ~ Click here )
MEET HANNAH GRACE
Let’s get to know each other a little better, shall we? Fast forward from 1993 to 2001. I am married with 5 daughters and am in my last year of college. Life is good. I love being a mom and doing all the ‘mom things’. We just celebrated my last child’s first birthday, Hannah Grace, and she is just so cute! (Well, all of my kids are cute ;). It was at that time Hannah was fighting what the doctors called “upper respiratory infections” or “allergies”. They were wrong but her diagnosis came too late. After 13 hours in the local Emergency Room she was life-flighted to a children’s hospital, a few hours later, on November 26, 2001, Hannah went home to be with the Lord. She was 14 months old and had died from Cardiomyopathy. The autopsy showed that the pneumonia virus caused her heart to get weak and that went undiagnosed for three months (though she never had pneumonia).
To keep my story short and focused, I have been sewing since being taught by my grandma and mom at 7 years old. Today, 40 years later, I offer custom, personalized memory bears, comfort care, and other related keepsakes to those who have or are experiencing child loss. Right now my products are being sold via my Etsy shop ~ and I do accept special orders. Just be sure to reach out to me here or contact Stephanie by clicking here.
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